Thursday, July 3, 2008

King of the World (or Google Analytics Risk)

This post has nothing to do with photography, but I haven't had a chance to do a new architectural post for this month's special yet (and it seems I'm not the only one), so...

Ever play Risk? You know, the board game of complete world domination? Well, look at this screen shot from google analytics (a site that lets you track how many hits you're getting) and tell me it doesn't make you think of Risk. No? I guess it's just me.

A friend of mine started a sports blog around the same time I started Take-Out Photo, so I proposed a friendly little game of google analytics Risk because we revel in pointless competition.

Let me digress....For example, we invented "King of Paris" a few years ago while on a research trip in Paris and here we are once again in Paris and still making up rules. To be king of Paris, you must know the best metro routes (including which car will stop closest to the exit you need) without looking at maps, you must never step in dog poop, stumble, or do anything un-French. Mess up and the title shifts to the other person. Since he lost the title two days ago on a bet involving chocolate (never make a bet with me involving chocolate), he was scheming over dinner about how a person might steal the title rather than waiting for the other to mess up. I said that if a French person asks you directions AND you can give them directions (without recourse to maps, of course) AND they never suspect you're not French, THEN you can steal the title. So we left the restaurant talking about food, of course (how a riz au lait, no matter how transcendent it may aspire to be, cannot overcome the fact that it is still just rice pudding), and suddenly a French woman came up to us asking where she could find rue de l'Exposition. Never before has a person received more enthusiastic directions--and in stereo. We even knew the restaurant she was going to. My friend is arguing with me even as I write that we gave her bad directions (which, if true, makes it all the more French, n'est-ce pas?). So my title remains intact. Had he thought to recommend the caramelized endive with apples and blue cheese as a starter, he would have the crown.

OK, so I am currently king of Paris, but it's not enough. I want to be KING OF THE WORLD! And wouldn't you--dear blog reader--love to help me in my quest for illusory and meaningless power?

So here is how google analytics risk works: Whoever has the most hits (from different individuals, so not 1,000 hits from your mother, Corry) claims a territory. If, at any time you have more hits from the other guy in every single country on earth, you win. It could happen.

Have a pen-pal in Moldova? Let her know about Take-Out Photo.
Like to chat with the people of Palau about the 2005 season of Survivor? Mention my blog in passing.
Oh, and I'm seven states short of USA domination.

Help a guy out. It's all the fun of world domination with none of the carnage.